


Nightmare

by kekneki



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: I regret everything about this, M/M, angst to the max tbh, let's fucking go you fuckboys, yell at me in the comments i'll fight all of you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2015-02-13
Packaged: 2018-03-12 06:26:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3346910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kekneki/pseuds/kekneki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The nights aren't ever peaceful anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> regret

The night was quiet and still; for once, it was peaceful in the residence for once. The balcony curtains were opened, letting the dim moonlight fill the room. A slight breeze blew against the windows, making the surface of the glass cold to the touch. The doors were locked so no disturbances could try to enter the room. There weren’t many lights on outside, making the overall lighting a nice balance between moonlight and city lights, making it nice setting. The only noise in the room was the moving and shifting of the two sleeping in the bed.

Hide’s face was buried into Kaneki’s warm, pulsing stomach. His arms were tightly wrapped around the other, pressing down as if he never wanted to let go. His breathing was steady and quiet, his face calm and cute in the name of slumber. His hair was a mess from fidgeting in his sleep, and from Kaneki’s chin resting on his head. Kaneki had a tight grip on Hide, keeping him as close as possible. Kaneki was known to be a possessive cuddler, especially at night. Hide didn’t mind it too much, even though the constant need for physical contact freaked him out sometimes. Kaneki was very needy with that sort of thing, and Hide was trying his best to grow used to it. Hide was only wearing boxers, while Kaneki was still fully clothed with the exception of his shoes since he was usually out until late in the night. Hide made it a priority to stay awake until Kaneki came back no matter how much he insisted Hide not to, and then they would go to sleep together. As expected, it was pretty deep into the night at the moment.

Hide’s eyes cracked open a little, lifting his head from Kaneki’s stomach and looking up a little. He yawned, stretching himself out as his arms remained around the other. He fidgeted a little, feeling a pressure down below that woke him up. No, he wasn’t aroused; if anything, it was quite the opposite. He had to excuse himself to the bathroom, but had to do so carefully so he wouldn’t wake the other. Kaneki was grumpy when he woke up, especially in the middle of the night. Hide had the past, unfortunate experience of accidentally waking Kaneki up, and it ended… not necessarily badly. Perhaps messy would be a better word to describe it.

He lifted his head, and then slowly shimmied his limbs out of Kaneki’s grip. Hide worked quickly, but gently; he had to be fast, otherwise Kaneki would quickly notice that Hide was gone through his sleep. The last thing Hide wanted was to wake Kaneki. Now that he thought about it, late-night sexual escapades would probably be the last of his worries. Considering the night Kaneki probably had, Hide expected a bit worse. He finally slid off the bed, scurrying in the darkness towards the bathroom as quietly as possible.

He entered the bathroom, shutting the door quietly and delaying the click of the lock. He got into the habit of peeing the sink in order to save time on going to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and to just reduce the noise load overall. He would let the sink run a little bit while he did what he needed to, and would spritz the air freshener over the sink before he left. It was a good cover-up, and the smell would fade by the morning anyways. Kaneki hadn’t caught onto it yet, and even if he did, it’s not like it would be that big of a deal anyways (however he might give Hide the whole ‘that is so fucking indecent’ talk). No matter which way he said it, Hide still had to hurry up.

****

“Hey, we need to talk.”

Kaneki turned around from his book that he was absorbed into previously. Hide stood before him, dressed as if he was heading off for work. His face appeared decrepit; bags had formed under his eyes, and his irises lost their normal spark of energy. His hair was a mess under his cap and was even growing unevenly in some places. His clothes appeared to be clean, but his stance and posture implied exhaustion. His voice was also hoarse and quite, as if he were sick.

“Hide, what is it?” Kaneki had to bite his tongue at least a little bit; he didn’t want to try and scold Hide again for interrupting his reading time. Still, it worried Kaneki that Hide looked like he was going to pass out.

“I’m heading to work.” Hide spoke, stretching and yawning a little in between sentences. “But, uh, I paid next month’s rent in advance for you…”

Kaneki raised an eyebrow. “You did? How?”

“I worked all that overtime, you know? And that second job also got me a bit more income… I might also run a few errands after work for some friends…” Hide rambled a little bit. “…So I might be home late. Again.”

“Hide, you need to stop working yourself so hard…” Kaneki’s voice developed a bit of a tremble. It was happening again. “You need to get some more sleep.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Hide shrugged it off. “I’m going to work my hardest to support the both of us.” He thought for a moment. “Ah, I could probably study during my breaks, too… that would be a good idea.”

“Hide…”

“Kaneki. Don’t worry about it.” Hide repeated. “Don’t worry about me, okay? I’ll be fine; I’ll nap when I get home. I mean, unless you want to spend some time like you do every night…”

“No, it can wait. You need to rest.” Kaneki grew frantic. “Hide, just take a day off or something before you work yourself too hard…”

Hide shook his head. “I’ll see you tonight.” He turned around to walk away, his gait a bit clumsier than usual. He stumbled with each step as he headed for the door leading outside. Kaneki perked up, tempted to run after him and stop him from leaving, yet something caused Kaneki to stay where he was. It was a conflict that Kaneki couldn’t solve for himself at that point.

At the blink of an eye, Kaneki was someplace else; he was right in front of the door leading inside. The scent of blood radiated off him, and he was still breathing heavily into his mask. He tasted the iron in his mouth, and his stomach growled calmly within him. He was satisfied, but he still burned on the inside as well. He felt the small bit of regret that he always felt after eating; ‘I don’t want to eat anymore’.

He opened the door with his gloved hand, stepping in. None of the blinds or curtains was closed, and none of the lights were on. It was odd; usually, Hide would’ve done so by now. He looked over to the sink, and there will still dishes in there; most of them with food sticking on them. Kaneki began to get nervous, seeing all of the other imperfections of the apartment. Something was wrong.

“…Hide?” Kaneki called quietly, shutting the front door. “Hide, are you here?”

No answer. He hurried for the bedroom, the balcony curtains still opened wide. The room was filled with moonlight and city lights with no lamps inside turned on. Kaneki’s eyes adjusted to the darkness, and he saw a figure slumped over on the bed. He walked over meekly, unsure of what it was exactly. As he got closer, he realized it was Hide. But then, it hit him; Hide wasn’t moving.

“Hide?” Kaneki kneeled down to Hide’s level, his fingers tapping Hide’s forehead. His skin was ice. “Hide… Wake up. You shouldn’t be sleeping in such an… improper position.”

No response.

“Hide, this isn’t funny. You promised you wouldn’t pull this again, remember?”

Nothing.

“Hide, seriously, wake up.” Kaneki grabbed Hide’s shoulder, shaking him a little bit. “Hide, come on.”

And again, nothing.

Kaneki shook him more, this time grabbing both of his shoulders. Hide’s eyes were closed, and his lips were slightly parted. He was still in the same clothing he was the morning previous, but it was dirtied. His face, however, seemed a bit more peaceful. He seemed at ease and rested; the opposite of what he was when Kaneki spoke to him last. And even with all that, he had a smile plastered on his face, which was icy like the rest of his body. After the multiples of attempts Kaneki made to get a response; shaking, grabbing, kissing through what he could of his mask… He began to shiver a little, his eyes becoming watery as well.

“H-Hide… why…” Kaneki hiccupped through his tears. “Why d-do you look so happy? Why…? Are you h-happier this way…?”

He didn’t expect a response this time. Kaneki swallowed the heavy weight in his throat and felt tears underneath his mask. He used a hand to rip it off, tossing it in some direction in the room. He attempted to kiss the other again, only more forcefully than earlier. No matter how rough he was, Kaneki still had no reply from Hide. He eventually pulled Hide up to himself, trying to hug him close. Hide was squeezed lifelessly in Kaneki’s trembling arms, his skin still cold and his face still serene.

“G-God damn it, Hide… why…” Kaneki spoke again, still holding the other’s lifeless body. “Why d-did you do this to yourself? Why for me? What made you t-think I was so deserving of this? Why…” He hiccupped again. “Why did this happen again?”

He lifted up Hide’s body so he was fully lying on the bed. Kaneki stepped back from the bed, observing Hide’s body. He couldn’t stand how peaceful he looked; the lack of any pain in his expression. Kaneki almost felt jealous.

“People always do these things to themselves…” Kaneki sniffled still, but spoke bitterly. “Working themselves past the point of exhaustion for other people… b-but at what cost? Their own lives? What a pity; helping other people like that. I could take care of myself… and yet he still did it, but why…?”

Kaneki got up on the bed, straddling Hide’s body. Kaneki glared down at Hide’s calm face, baring his teeth in a snarl. He cupped Hide’s cold cheeks with his hands, pushing his thumbs down on the skin. Tears dripped down and made spots on Hide’s face, and rolled down his skin onto the bed. Kaneki felt like he was going to be sick of himself already. He leaned down to kiss Hide’s lips again, biting down on the bottom lip before lifting his head back up. He licked his own lips, and felt himself begin to salivate.

“You wanna help, h-huh? You wanted to help me until you fucking died, just like she did. Y-You’re probably with her right now, even!” Kaneki gritted his teeth, letting his tears fall. “N-No matter, you’ll pay your dues just like she did; completely and endlessly. Now, you c-can fulfill one last task, since you’re so desperate to help me…” Kaneki lowered his head again, approaching Hide’s neck. “W-Wow… how fucked up is this? How fucked up were you, or how fucked up am I? I-It’s a funny world, really… I-I’m so fucked up on my own; enough for the both of us, even… h-haha… Now, hold still…”

****

The noise was almost deafening to Hide.

He regretted even thinking about leaving the other for even a moment, because he was trying to hold down a thrashing ghoul before he went on a rampage. Hide had gotten punched a few times, mostly in the face, clawed at, almost bitten… Kaneki’s shrieks were overpowering any of Hide’s words, and that’s what worried him. Hide tried to pin down Kaneki’s arms, but it was no use. Hide had dealt with Kaneki’s intensive nightmares before, but it always took a awhile for Kaneki to stop freaking out in a panic.

“K-Kaneki, Kaneki! It’s me, Hide! Please... you need to calm down! I’m here!”

“You’re lying, you’re lying to me! Shut up!” Kaneki struggled, almost throwing Hide off him.

“No, I’m not!” Hide yelled back at him. “God damn it, Kaneki! Just listen to m-me!” Hide ignored the pain he felt when Kaneki hit him, or tried to toss him away like a ragdoll; he clung onto the other for dear life.

“Get off of me!” Kaneki grabbed Hide by the neck. “Or I’ll toss you out the fucking window!”

“K-Kaneki!” Hide managed to get an opportunity when Kaneki grabbed him in a chokehold. His hand rose, then dove and smacked down right onto Kaneki’s face. It was a stinging slap; it caused Kaneki to completely freeze. His grip on Hide’s neck only sustained for a few seconds before his hands dropped, letting Hide pant heavily to catch his breath. Kaneki’s face of rage calmed, his expression loosening and tears filling his eyes in an instant. He whined quietly, bringing his hands to his face.

“I... I didn’t want to do that, you know.” Hide finally spoke, coughing a little. “K-Kaneki, talk to me… please… I need to know if you’re okay…”

“H-Hide…” Kaneki spoke through his hands, tears overcoming his words. “I-I…”

“No, don’t say it. Don’t be sorry, Kaneki.” Hide tried to smile a little, despite the pain he felt in his body from Kaneki’s actions. “Kaneki, please look at me.”

Kaneki shook his head. “I-I don’t want to see what I did…”

“Kaneki, don’t pay attention to that. Pay attention to me. Please look at me.” Hide repeated, his voice becoming gentler.

Kaneki hesitated for a bit longer, and then slowly moved his hands from his tear-stained face. Hide still smiled down at the other, using the back of his hand to wipe the tears off of Kaneki’s face. “See? That’s so much better, Kaneki. Now I can see you.”

“H-Hide, you’re bleeding…”

“Am I?” Hide raised an eyebrow. “So what?”

“You’re hurt, and it’s my fault. And yet I vowed to always protect you under any circumstance…”

“You did hurt me, but I forgive you.” Hide cupped Kaneki’s cheek with his hand. “You had a nightmare?”

Kaneki nodded. “Yes…”

“What was it about?”

“Hide… don’t overwork yourself.”

“Huh?”

“Don’t overwork yourself.” Kaneki repeated. “Don’t get so many tasks to get done, don’t always be out and never home, don’t… don’t end up like her…”

“Don’t end up like her…” Hide let the words roll along his tongue. He flinched a little when he realized what Kaneki had meant. “You… had that dream again, huh?”

Kaneki nodded sheepishly.

Hide sighed softly, stroking Kaneki’s face with his hand. “Kaneki… I really don’t work that much, I promise. I spend more time at home than you realize…”

“I still worry about you, despite that.” Kaneki retorted.

“Jeez, man, I’m not that much of a weakling, am I?” Hide chuckled at the other. “Look… do you really worry about me that much, Kaneki? You really don’t have to.”

“I don’t really have many other people to worry for those are so dear to me, Hide.”

“Mmmm… Look, how about I just… call in sick for later today? I’ll catch up on my homework today, and skip work. That way, I can spend the day with you. That way, you won’t be such a worry wart!” Hide grinned down at the other. ”Good solution?”

“Won’t you get behind?”

“Nah, don’t stress about that. I’m perfectly caught up in class, and I’ve still got money left over. One day won’t kill me, right?”


End file.
